Alfredo Sauce, A Dairy Love Story

for all your depression needs.

Things you’ll need: Heavy cream, parmesan, butter, one garlic clove, one egg yolk, salt and pepper. Pasta plus whatever toppings you think will lure the winter away.

incidentally vegetarian

Chapter 96

Sometimes you think “Wow, I do not want to get out of bed or accomplish anything ever again because what is even the point of all of [gesturing to everything] THIS!” and sometimes you think “Wow, I want to devour everything in my cabinets, starting with the pickles and potato chips.” Sometimes you just lay in bed, enumerating the best comfort foods, and realize how many of them are dairy-based.

Oh, dairy. Oh, heaviest of cream. Oh, triple cream cheeses melting from their rinds. Even you, yogurt, blended with a hint of honey and fruit. Schmear, you spread like a salve over my darkest mornings. Sigh

If there is no other reason you can fathom to endure the cold floors and torturous familiarity of your confines, if anything in the world could pull you from the comfort of fuzzy socks and two heavy blankets, it is the passionately polyamorous love-affair between carbs, dairy, and you.

All it takes is a couple of tablespoons of butter melted over low heat until all the bubbling has ceased. Add one well-crushed and minced clove of garlic (or more) and sauté, gently, until lightly toasted.

In the meantime, whisk together 1 ½ cups of cream and a single egg yolk. Slowly stream the rich cream into the warm butter and whisk until well combined. Make sure to keep the temperature low, like a bath you could slowly sink into. Let that simmer while you cook a pound of pasta in seasoned water.

Occasionally reach out to whisk the glorious cream, staring deep into the soft waves. When the pasta is well-cooked and strained, combine the supple, toothsome strands with the well-simmered decadence of dairy and toss with an additional cup of grated parmesan. Salt and pepper to taste, spice it up with hints of chili flake if you are feeling feisty.

Serve with peas, broccoli, a good heal of crusty bread with butter, or as naked and perfect as the gods of pasta and dairy intended.

Let lose a contented sigh as you feel your body relax, tension released into the care of your consummate comfort.