things you’ll need: people
over the last few weeks, there were many latkes, more beans made into soup, several salads with cabbage, Shakshuka (made for me), twice-baked potatoes with spinach and fontina, butter-basted NY Strip Steaks, a mushroom cream sauce with the strained remnants of ravioli that fell apart in the boiling water, several apples consumed with either cheese or peanut butter, an orange-maple glazed ham, carrots roasted with a citrus compound butter… and I didn’t take any pictures of any of it.
I did, however, get a picture of my orchid’s flower spikes, my parent’s dog on a zoom call, the shopping list for the unpictured ham, and a cup of coffee sent as proof that I was unavailable for any type of decision-making conversations until the pictured cup was consumed…
Chapter 246
You are not sure what day it is; you just know what’s supposed to get done. Tomorrow is another list and you are certain there is something the next day too, which isn’t your problem yet. You keep your brain focused on Today Problems which seem to grow and bleed into Tomorrow and you still have a bit of Yesterday to solve but it’s all going to get done.
The lists make you feel better, which is fine. The lists also stress you out, which is also fine. It’s a stressful season replete with expectations, a polar vortex, and a tripledemic to boot. Sometimes cookies help. Maybe you thought 7 dozen cookies would help and flew into a manic baking spree, which was not on your list.
Of course, you are stressed out. Of course, you are coping in a variety of ways, some more destructive than helpful, but you recognize the pattern and understand that cookies are not actually a suitable breakfast. Today they are. Write it on the list and then cross it off just for the dopamine.
This list isn’t the point, it’s the people. People stress you out too, but you’ve lost whole years with them and don’t want to miss them anymore. There are so many people to love and a lot who love you back and your best language for that love is to feed and be fed, which could be a metaphor or stacks of cookies packed in wax paper.
There have been and will be meals, gatherings, reunions, and whichever festivities you wrap yourself around. Have so much fun that you forget to take pictures.
Happy holidays to you all!
Thank you, as always, for your support. I keep going (EVEN when I forget to take any pictures) because you keep reading.
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