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Recipe for a Bottle of Wine
Everything in your refrigerator is leftovers or ingredients and you don’t want any of it. You finally got rid of your shriveling lemons by turning them into lemonade, but you drank that with the rest of the vodka on Monday when you thought it was actually Tuesday and showed up to a zoom cocktail hour that didn’t exist yet.
The kitchen is totally clean, scrubbed, organized, spotless, but you haven’t really been in there today. You took a bath three days ago and have yet to wash the tub. No one here cares (no one is here). You did hang up two pictures in the bathroom. The rest of the art is still propped up behind the living room door. All of your books are still in boxes because you don’t know where the bookshelves will go. Right now, 2 of them are in the kitchen because you needed the storage. You kind of gave up on unpacking any further. You still have two large pieces of furniture in your bedroom that you do not want and cannot get rid of. You only go to sleep in that room anyway. There is no “getting ready” anymore.
There is a small lump on your neck that you have been anxiously palpating for a week while assuming that it is slowly killing you. You brave the doctor’s office only to find out that it is just a lymph node and it’s not cancer and your doctor suggests relaxing. Apparently when you sit all day with your whole body tensed up because your loan hasn’t come through and more bills are almost due and the world doesn’t appear to be returning to “normal” ever again but some people are going to the beach even though it is definitely going to mean death for more people and then other people are arming themselves because they really want haircuts and you don’t even know when you’ll be able to hug people again, your body reacts poorly.
You heat up the last leftovers while licking peanut butter off a spoon. You’ve started re-watching Game of Thrones. By the time you realize that you are watching the Red Wedding episode, it is too late. You are not feeling terribly relaxed at all.
You were going to make stay-at-home smores for dessert, but last week the marshmallows fell out of the cart after you’d checked out and you didn’t notice until you’d gotten home and then cried very much of a lot about it. You aren’t really sure what you did today. Yesterday you repotted your plants. You are pretty sure that was yesterday. You are fairly certain that you know what day it is. You definitely know that it is not Monday. You did remember to eat. The sun is down, so it must be night. You open a bottle of wine and drink out of a juice glass because you think it will pace you.
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