Tums

I'm ok. How are you?

(best served bedside in a candy dish)

Chapter 43

Today someone asked me how I have been and that it seemed like this COVID time had been really hard on me. A very close family friend mentioned to my mother that I was always crying in these recipe-essays.

So, this isn’t really an essay or a recipe, but more of an assurance that I am ok.

Of course, this has been hard. Staying up until 3:00 in the morning watching Minneapolis burn last night was also hard, but I am ok.

I have been very isolated and mostly entirely alone since March 15, but I have health insurance, unemployment, my stimulus check, skin privilege, family, and dear friends who have been helping/loving me and I am ok.

I’m not cooking as much because things I am responsible for are re-opening and I have other work and have moved a couple of times and that’s ok because I am ok.

This entire endeavor evolved because nothing felt normal and someone asked me for my lentil soup recipe and I couldn’t type it out without acknowledging how abnormal everything felt and then everyone was like, “Yeah! Nothing feels normal! What is even happening?” and “I” felt like a “we” again.

So, I want you to know that I am trying to “see” all of you in this writing. I want to share the conversations we should be having around shared tables laden with food that we all made, but I can’t. I want to share meals with you and I can’t. I want to drop a lasagna off and come in for a glass of wine, but I can’t.

So maybe I am selfish and this is all just a way for me to invite you all over for a meal in a way that I don’t have to clean or even put on pants, plus I get to keep all the leftovers.

I am so grateful to each of you for sharing in this experience. I am so grateful to each of you for your support.

This is all hard, but I am ok. I hope that you are ok too.