Lentil Shepherd’s Pie
to get you through Mondays, even when they are Tuesdays
things you’ll need: lentils (green or black will hold up best, but you can sub brown or even beans), veggie stock (or porcini/mushroom stock), lots of mushrooms, carrots, celery, onion, frozen peas, tomato paste, red wine, Worcestershire (or coconut aminos for vegetarian/vegan), soy sauce (tamari), parsley, thyme, rosemary, paprika, something to thicken a bit (like corn starch, flour, GF flour, etc), mashed potatoes (with or without egg yolk and cheddar), salt and pepper.
Referred back to this meat-laden Shepherd’s Pie, but then worked from this recipe on BiancaZapatka.com and this one on Spend with Pennies (both vegetarian)
incidentally vegetarian, gluten-free by using a GF flour for thickening, and vegan if you keep the mashed potato topping vegan and only cook with oil.
Chapter 196
Why was this last Monday more Monday than any other Monday in the history of Mondays? Everyone has been talking about a return to normal and somehow this weekend felt like maybe we were finally there and it was exhausting. This further illustrated your belief that “Normal” is terrible. Not just because you have always fancied yourself “Weird” (in the most attractive and exalted way), but because “Normal” was never great and often terrible, if not horrific.
That “Normal” doesn’t just include racial injustice, dismantling reproductive rights, and disenfranchising millions of voters. “Normal” is also all your insecurities and general but-I-don’t-wanna protests that make it hard to keep moving forward. “Normal” is also spending holidays with family again, but that doesn’t mean it’s not stressful and taxing.
A lot of things are “Normal” and require change (and that change should be demanded) while other “Normal” things require a fair bit of patience and acceptance. Either way, it sucks. Especially on a Monday. Especially in the rough wake of the holidays when you may be flush with leftovers, but completely depleted of dopamine, serotonin, or whatever other chemicals make these days tolerable.
This is when you turn to casseroles. Maybe you revisit Cheesy Broccoli Rice Casserole (because carbs always love you back), Bean and Creamed Green Gratin with Cornbread Crumble (because casserole=comfort), or use the sweet potatoes you did not make for Sweet Potato and Black Bean Enchiladas so that you are too full to do any of the “Normal” things you are avoiding (or want to avoid feeling).
You suppose casseroles are the good kind of normal, plus they will feed you for several days while you recover from this last SUPER-monday Monday. Luckily, you happen to have most of the ingredients left from this weekend’s mega meal, which makes this meal lower in effort and super-rich in comfort.
Peel and quarter 1 ½ - 2 ½ pounds of potatoes, mostly russets with a couple of Yukon golds or whatever you have left from the weekend. Add potatoes to a pot of well-salted cold water and bring to a bowl, then drop down to a simmer (this will season the potatoes, keep them intact, and cook them evenly).
Set a cup of lentils to simmer in about 3 cups of broth or seasoned water for about 20 minutes, until tender, while you chop carrots (a couple), onion (like 1- ½), and celery (a couple of ribs). Then slice up 1-2lb of mushrooms.
Preheat the oven to 400.
Heat up some oil (or butter) and cook your carrots, onions, and celery until the onion is translucent and the carrots begin to soften. Add your mushrooms with a little bit of salt and cook until they release their liquid and then add some garlic along with your drained lentils.
Stir in 3-4 Tablespoons of tomato paste along with your spices and herbs (paprika, pepper, thyme, rosemary, parsley, or whatever you’ve deemed appropriate) and stir until well combined.
Now, add a little flour (GF or corn starch will also work) and cook for a minute before you add a good few glugs of wine (3T – ½ cup), a heavy pour of soy sauce/tamari (¼ cups or more), and a Tablespoon or two of Worcestershire (or vegan coconut aminos) and cook until thickened a bit. Taste and add a little bit of this or that until you like it (the Worcestershire and soy sauce really pull the umami meat-like flavors out). Let that simmer while you finish your potatoes.
Drain the potatoes once they are easily pierced with a fork. Either microwave or simmer together half a cup-ish whole milk (or cream or half-and-half or any combination) with 4 to 8 tablespoons of butter (because BUTTER) and add to the potato pot along with drained potatoes. Feel free to sub for vegan alternatives (like vegan sour cream, butter, and non-dairy milks).
If you have something fancy like a potato ricer, go for it. Otherwise, grab a mashing instrument and work out any residual holiday frustration by aggressively mashing and mixing. Whisk up one egg yolk and thoroughly mix it into the potatoes. Taste. Adjust salt and pepper. Taste some more. Add shredded white cheddar if you are into it (you are into it: ½ cup to 1 cup) and taste. Resist the urge to just fill a bowl with mashed potatoes and forget about the whole casserole idea.
Spoon your lentil mix into a casserole dish. Maybe use two small casserole dishes so you can freeze one for some other Monday. Almost forget the frozen peas. Decide to sprinkle them on top of the lentil mix rather than dump and remix and repour because that sounds like a lot.
Once your pea layer is complete, plop on the mashed potatoes and spread evenly, making sure to score random patterns into the surface to ensure browned bits of delicious.
Bake for 20-40 minutes, until the potatoes are browned and the filling is bubbling. Then, let it rest until the molten insides have cooled enough to provide comfort, rather than furthering your distress.
No matter how many people insist that we are returning to “Normal”, you don’t have to. You can continue to require change and be weird. Casserole won’t alleviate the toll that “Normal” has taken on you, will take on you, continues to take on you, but it sure makes Mondays feel better, even when they are actually Tuesdays.
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